Yesterday I spent alot of time communicating with friends and family from California on the computer. Because of Skype I am able to see my friends and family's familiar sunny decks, backyards, and my favorite beaches in the background as I am talking to them. It is for the most part wonderful to be able to look at the screen and through this "window" across the world to all things familiar. The only problem is that everything and everyone seems so close, but they are in reality so far away.
At the end of the day, I went outside to take out the trash and this is what I saw. I realized in this moment that while I was spending my time and energy peering into that window of artificial reality with images of my native California, I was missing my new, beautiful life in Sweden.
When I made the choice to move from California to Sweden I never thought that I would be living such a conflicted existence. It seems like every day I am struggling between trying to adapt to the new community and landscape where I live my life today, and at the same time holding on close to my identity as what I have always been, a Californian.
Some days I just feel over come with this internal tug of war, the struggle of living between two different worlds. But when I stood by the trash cans and looked at the sunset on the lake, for a moment my mind was still. No matter where in the world I am I can find strength in the sunset.
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